April 2, 2012

GNOMBIES: Zombie Gnomes Invading Gardens Near You!

I've always been a little put off by Garden Gnomes. With their blank expressions and permanent porcelain smiles, they always seemed to follow you with their eyes.......

Life just got a little more terrifying for us gnome-aphobes out there, because gnomes now come in a flesh-hungry, brain-craving, undead variety. Yes - Gnome Zombies. Gnombies are on the prowl in a backyard near you.

While at Horror Hound Weekend in Columbus, OH, the girlfriend and I were looking for cool zombie stuff, and we stumbled across the GNOMBIES booth where creator Mark McElligott was on-hand selling zombie gnomes both large and small. Exquisitely hand-painted and hand-sculpted, McElligott's Gnombies are the realization of a dream mixing zombies with gnomes, he said -- a dream he once had while recovering from a 50 + hour tattoo. I don't know if the tattoo ink seeped into his brain, but his twisted vision for Gnombies is now a reality and available through his online store www.thegnombies.com.

A large Gnombie at Horror Hound Columbus 2012
Fearing for the safety of our many pets and neighbors, we took home one of McElligott's mini-gnombies instead of a large one in the hopes that it would be easier to contain. But gnombies, we soon learned, are tenacious little ghouls. 

And don't feed them after midnight
Once our gnombie escaped his packaging, there was no stopping his relentless search for warm, living flesh. Crawling across the kitchen table, he shuffled steadily towards my cranium in search of the juicy brains within.

Everyday he's shuffling
When I proved simply too tall for him to reach, our gnombie turned instead on the urban zoo that my girlfriend and I keep in the house. His first victim was our one-eyed cat Nick Furry.

Come on, Nick, where's those cat-like reflexes we hear so much about?
Thankfully, Nick saw the danger coming and gave the gnombie a swift swat that landed the undead creature right in our guinea pig's cage. The gnombie slowly advanced on our frighteningly chirping  rodent.

Millie's about to be Gnombie food!
Rest assured, no animals or gnombies were harmed in the making of this post. We got our gnombie back up on the mantle where he'll stay under our very careful supervision.  However, if you ever come visit us and feel a wee biting on your ankle, look down and you might see our little gnombie introducing himself

Gnombies are fantastic and fun little statues! For more information about Gnombies, visit the Gnombie Facebook page and follow Gnombies on Twitter